Fig. 1.
D R A G O N O P O L I S
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COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT
Yes, I know the two headings say Complaint Department twice, so stop complaining.
I don't think the yellow lights at traffic signals last long enough. Sissy drivers call them "amber". Even though surface-street speed limits have increased by 10-20 mph, yellow warning lights still average three to four seconds in duration -- the same as before I was old enough to drive. I don't like the color purple. I don't mean the movie, which was okay, but ran too long -- just the color. I think Welches owns it anyway. And what's up with our politicians lately? Talk about a bunch of crooks and ne'er-do-wells. How come we don't pay more to our military, including police, fire departments, and emergency personnel? Am I the only one who thinks it's too cold in super markets? Especially in the winter. There's still way too many commercials on commercial television. And why are cable TV shows which aren't as regulated by the FCC (if at all) allowed to compete for the same awards as heavily regulated, regular TV shows? Ever notice how difficult it is to close a breakfast cereal box once it's been opened? Especially if you accidentally tear it. And the wax paper bag inside? OMG, how do they get away with that? Crummy cereal boxes haven't changed either, since I was barely able to reach the milk in the refrigerator. What happened to those nice wax cartons that milk used to come in? Now they're mostly all plastic bottles. Forget about global warming -- the surface of the Earth will be buried in plastic bottles long before we need to worry about upping the SPF of our suntan lotion. Is it me, or are dogs barking more lately? Particularly neighborhood dogs. More specifically the ones in my neighborhood. Don't you hate it when people don't reply to your emails? As if an email is any different from a phone call, if it's addressed to you personally. If I called you on the phone, left a message, and you never got back to me, that'd be pretty rude, don't you think? So how did we ever survive without cell phones? Next time I'm around a six-year-old, I'll have to ask them how they work and which one he or she recommends. I can't believe they don't even want us to use "hands-free" phones while driving. That's just stupid. And what's up with the long waiting times at doctors' offices? I wonder if during the 1930's, people ever had to wait in line for anything. Except food, that is. Speaking of which, since when can government food stamps be used for things other than food? Is that true? Who approved that? Those same politicians I mentioned earlier, that's who! And another thing . . . .
If you have any complaints of your own, please use the form provided. I feel your pain.
Below is my Confidential Complaint Form.
Yes, I know it already says Confidential Complaint Form above and below. What a bunch of whiners.
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