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Page 28

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TAME the NAME GAME
-------------------------------------------------------
More Cool Stuff for Kids
And Adults in Touch with their Inner Silly

    Virtually any animal you can imagine has (or could have) a hybrid twin who is also part dragon. And they all have a name that suits their half reptile, half mammal, half whatever nature. Some, as in the case of Rak, the dragodactyl, are all reptile; it's just that he's a cross between a prehistoric pterodactyl (pterodon) and a dragon. But why is he called a dragodactyl and not a dragoterodactyl? Or a dragerodactyl? Rak could be correctly called a dragodon, too, but we like dragodactyl. You can even call him a "dactyl" for short, which is a slang nickname that comes in handy when you need to talk really fast.

    If you can think of an animal (insects and bugs count, also) not listed among the ones who are on shown on the pages of DRAGONOMICON and you'd like to figure out it's special dragon name, here's how to do it:

    01. First imagine what animal (any one will do) might have a dragon twin, then start with its real name. Let's try one not already on my list of others. A monkey! Perfect.

    02. Although it's a little scary to imagine, a half dragon, half monkey hybrid would be called a...can you guess? Of course; he (or she) would be known as a dragonkey. Not to be confused with a donkey, whose dragon twin would also be called a dragonkey. I didn't say the system was perfect, only fun. If you can't tell the difference, though, between a monkey and a donkey, you'll never understand this game. I think their pictures would tell us who's who, don't you?

    03. If you haven't figured it out already, we usually just drop the first letter of an animal's name, which leaves us with either a vowel or a consonant. After that it's pretty easy. But not always. The word, dragon, ends with both a vowel and a consonant. So we'll drop the last letter of dragon which leaves drago. That gives us a nice vowel to work with. Or sometimes we'll need to drop the last two letters which leaves us with just plain drag, and an equally nice consonant to play with.

    The whole idea is to create a name that is easy to say, makes some kind of sense (?) and at the same time always begins with drag or drago in order to form a word that is part dragon and part whoever else.

    04. So with the name, monkey, we dropped the m which left onkey. We didn't use dragononkey because that would be too much dragon and not enough monkey. The word itself needs to be only half of one thing and half of the other. Let's drop the n from dragon which leaves drago. If we combine that with onkey, we get dragoonkey. Too many o's, although that's a funny name all by itself. The word goon has its own meaning, however, and it can become too confusing if we make words that can mean something different than what we want. So let's drop the extra o which makes dragonkey. Perfect.

    This is especially good because if you notice, the name is exactly equal parts monkey and dragon. But the word dragon is competely there. Which is very cool when that happens. At least I think so. Then again, I'm part human and part monkey (humonkey?)

    05. Wingston is half dragon and half hummingbird. But why is he called a hummingdragird and not a dragummingbird? Once again, that's too much bird and not enough dragon. Plus humming is only a description of the sound the bird itself makes. So the real animal is a bird and that's what we change to dragird. Two vowels together are usually awkward, which is what we get if drop the n from dragon and the b from bird. That leaves us with dragoird. Not good, right? So which vowel should be dropped next? Should the final version be dragord, or dragird? Which looks and sounds right to you? If you said dragird, you win! Sorry, no prize money. Or make that dragoney. Which is really silly because you can't have something that's half dragon and half money. That would be too weird even for me.

    Although hummingdragird is technically correct, I like to use slang when it feels right. Humming'gird (we dropped the dra) is not only easier to say, but sounds even more like the real deal. In Dragonia, birds are often called just 'girds because we know they're really dragirds; it's just easier to say 'girds and it sounds right. Right?

    06. Which brings us to the word dragreature. Or 'greature for short. Have you already figured this one out? Wow, you're good. A dragon isn't really just an ordinary creature. Creature is too...Earthlike. And the word can refer to regular animals and hybrids alike. We want something special for dragons. We want a term that is half dragon and half creature. We want dragreature. Yeah, that's more like it. And the slang version is naturally 'greature, for short. And if the word is already a slang word, as in critter, then 'gritter is perfect, don't you think?

    Boja's curmudgeonly grandfather, Grandohr, likes to refer to most Dragonians as 'gritters. But that's because he tends to be a bit grouchy sometimes. Well, most of the time, actually.

    By the way, did you see anything special about the word dragreature? Do you see the word that's right in the middle? If you found "great" then that's great because you're right. Boja's part turtle guardian, Shelldon, has told her how Dragonians are the greatest creatures of all worlds. Thus dragreature seems to fit very well. Shelldon has been known, at times, to exaggerate a bit. It might be better to say that Dragonians are among the greatest of all creatures. Oh, and he's a dragurtle, of course. And not a dragourtle or dragonurtle. Dragonurtle's not bad, kind of cute, but again it's too much dragon and not enough turtle. In other words, don't force the word dragon at the expense of its other animal half; keep them as equal as possible.

    As a last example, Boja herself is part eagle. Eagles are special in Dragonia which is why the word Dragle is always capitalized. We could have used Dragoagle, or Dragagle, but Dragle is the right one, don't you agree?

    It might be fun to have a contest to see who can come up with the wackiest or most original dragon hybrid name and award a real prize of some kind. When that happens, it will be announced on radio, TV, in the movies and elsewhere. Okay, so I'm a little like Shelldon and tend to exaggerate at times. The announcement will actually appear only on this website. And probably only on this page. I can dream can't I? Don't forget, I am half monkey.

    Now look around and start naming the hybird dragon twins related to your favorite animals. If you think of a really good one, save it for the contest. If you positively can't wait that long, send it to me now and I'll see if I can find a way to use it. Plus you'll still be eligible for the contest.


Hey, what do you call a conceited dragon who talks about how great he is?
This is too easy.
He'd be a bragon, right?



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